


Gone without me

by Ruquas



Series: Clint Barton Bingo [23]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crying, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, clintbartonbingo, winterhawkbingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 02:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20038786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruquas/pseuds/Ruquas
Summary: Bucky swallowed and hugged Clint a bit tighter. That wasn‘t just a depressive episode. This was something else.





	Gone without me

When Bucky came into the room it was… dark. Dark and silent. Something that didn‘t happen that often, especially not when Clint was already there.

„Doll?“, Bucky asked carefully in the general direction of the couch. He could barely make out that someone sat there. Could‘ve been Clint, but also Tony when they talked about the height.

„Hey.“

Clint sounded… strange.

„Can I put on some lights, doll? It‘s really dark.“

„Hu. Yeah.“

Bucky frowned and went to the lamp, turning it on. The living room was surprisingly tidy. Nothing broken. Nothing that gave a clue why Clint sat in the dark and… cried?

„Doll? What‘s going on?“

„Nothing. It‘s… everything‘s fine.“, Clint said voice suffocated from the tears, eyes red. God knows how long he already sat there in the dark before Bucky came in.

„Yeah, sure.“, Bucky said, voice as soft as he could manage. Maybe a depressive episode? Clint sometimes had them.

„But you‘re crying and I want to know if I can do anything, to make my boyfriend feel better.“, Bucky continued, putting carefully an arm around Clint‘s shoulder. Clint shook his head before he pressed his face against Bucky‘s shoulder. His whole body began to shake but almost no sound came out. Bucky swallowed and hugged Clint a bit tighter. That wasn‘t just a depressive episode. This was something else.

Then his look fell on a letter, looking very official.

„He‘s dead.“, Clint said, voice hollow. Bucky had a sinking feeling.

„Who‘s dead, doll?“, he still asked already knowing the answer.

„Barney.“, Clint confirmed his assumption.

„Is he dead? Is that what the letter says?“

Because Bucky knew that if someone died, the military talked in person to the relatives. They had probably done it with his own family and he doubted they would make an exception for Clint.

„No. It says he went missing. Barney never goes _missing_. He‘s dead. Otherwise, he would‘ve already found his unit or his unit would have found him.“, Clint said, voice still hollow, tears running down his face.

„I went missing, too.“, Bucky said, but he knew that it wasn‘t the same. If it wouldn‘t have been for HYDRA, he would be dead. He probably had been dead. Who knows?

„Great. A POW. That‘s so much better.“, Clint said, sarcasm dripping out of those few words. Bucky didn‘t say anything.

„I should‘ve been with him.“

„You didn‘t want to join the army.“, Bucky reminded him gently but Clint only barked out a laugh.

„I wanted to. I packed everything I owned. Even went to the fucking bus stop, just to see that the bus was already gone and that my watch went wrong by ten minutes. And after that came Trickshot and then S.H.I.E.L.D. and there wasn‘t any need anymore to join the army, to start fresh.“

„If you would‘ve followed Barney, it probably wouldn‘t have changed anything, you know? You both could be dead now. One of you could be dead. Or missing. Or wounded.“

„Still should‘ve been with him.“, Clint repeated pettish.

„I‘m no good here, anyway.“

Bucky suppressed a sigh. There, there were the depressions.

„But then a lot of people would be dead. Who would‘ve fought in New York? Who would have fought Ultron? Who would have withstood Wanda‘s powers? Sure, not everything went great. People died. But you did well. Better than most people are ever going to do.“

Clint nodded, tears still wetting Bucky‘s shoulder and an occasional sob disturbing the silence. Bucky knew that Clint thought of Pietro. Thought of his handler, Coulson. Thought of all those people that died over the world because _something_ went wrong. Bucky didn‘t try to stop him.

„I will miss him.“

„I know, darling. He‘s your brother. Of course, you‘ll miss him.“

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Clint Barton Bingo and the Winterhawk Bingo, both can be found on AO3 and on Tumblr.
> 
> You can find [my Tumblr here](https://ruquas-dreambell.tumblr.com/). If you have a request or anything, just let me know it there :)


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